PAIN Poetry

ALONE!

Alone in bed I lay
thinking of things to you, I’d say
If by chance again we meet
Who will be, the first to speak?

I think of how in love we were
Of how radically did things occur!
Our lives and souls were ripped apart
Who can soothe this aching heart?

I want it back I need it now!
The love everlasting that you vowed
The security in your arms I felt
And how your kisses made me melt.

TeAnne © Jan 1. 1998

I WISH I WAS

I wish I was a movie star up on the silver screen You would look and say… "There you are" You would notice me - Yes…You would notice me. Just…Look at me - I can be anything; I want to be But…You don't see me No…You don't see me. You could look, and screw your nose up I am your enemy I am the fly in your coffee cup But…You don't see me No… You don't see me. I wish I was a kid out on a killing spree You would see what I did You would notice me. Yes…You would notice me. Just…Look at me I can be anything; I want to be But…You don't see me No…You don't see me. I wish I were a sorceress I would seduce you - I would be your enchantress And you would love me… too But…You don't see me No…You don't see me. Just… look at me I am here and I am free Just notice me… Please…Just notice me. TeAnne © June 30. 1999 GREEN IS MY COLOUR The green eyed monster was full view  it came between us, with darkened hue.  You promised to my dragons slay  back last year, in the month of may. Revenge I plotted, lies anew  You caught me out, with my words untrue  I rue my deception with all my heart  because, a friendship broken, I wasn't smart. My heart is broken and lost is mind  I beg forgiveness, from your heart, so kind  and pray in time that the bridges mend  I don't want to be a loser, in the end.  14 Sept. 1998 SLAY ME Take this, my sword and plunge it deep  I don't deserve to live nor weep  My heart has been a failure to you  I promised to love you, thru' and thru'  I let us down, with my jealousness  with unstable mind and bloody stress  It's time now to lunge that sword  aim it straight and true and cut this cord  Free yourself from my horrid love  I offer an olive branch with the dove.  14 Sept. 1998. Surprise! How am I to pledge love for thee  when thou hast not awaited me It was meant as a surprise  The look, I needed to see it, in your eyes But thou hast found another  Never more, will thee be my lover.  © 13 Sept.1998    Take Take my hand and lead me  hug me, kiss me, feed me  Take my hand and lead me there  lust me, need me, love me there  Take my hand and lead me down  savour me, cleanse me, stroke me down  Take my hand and lead me up  moon me, star me, float me up  Take my hand and lead me in  soothe me, sin me, move me in. 14 Sept. 1998 TeAnne CAN YOU  Can you look me in the eyes  and devote your life  Never leave me or deceive me  like you do to your wife ?Can you hold me and not think of another  while you love me and protect me  like you vowed to your children's Mother? When you can answer Yes! To all the above  This day then  I too can  declare my devotion and love. TeAnne © 13 April. 1998 DEC 25 No Mum, not this year  no celebrations, no merriment nor cheer  Ten months have gone by  I miss you and often I cry  Today, your seventy eighth year  Goes by un-noticed by those, your peers  All have passed too,  maybe they sit along side of you.  This day I will never forget  for it’s you, for whom I fret  Liberated, gone, all your wariness  basking with Him, in restfulness  Wrapped in Gods arms  safe from pain, away from harm.  For this, there is happiness  but it wont lull my loneliness  Even though you share His birth  Christmas day, holds no mirth  This joyful season  For me, holds no reason  for merriment and gladness  All that’s left is sorrow and sadness.  Happy birthday I’d wish to you, if you were here  Past memories of you Mum  held precious and forever dear. TeAnne © Dec 22. 1997 GHOST OF A PAST An alcoholics existence is discontented and artificial  Disentanglement is arduous and lamentable  Detachment from family and friends  Jeopardized, difficult to pardon and make amends.Embarrassment of diminished wealth  Not to mention, damaged receding health.  Paranoia and delirium tremens are rife  Lost are the values and rationality for life. I have been there and done that  Not a fabrication but a fact  Destitute I may have been  If not for my children, my lover, our hopes and dreams. I returned on my own accord  Obese and lethargic I was bored.  A restored life and self respect anew  This could transpire for anyone and for you too. TeAnne....20/12/93© HE WEARS TWO FACES When I think of a person as a friend  it conjures up trust, honesty, balance.  Becoming a friend is a special treasure. Sharing and caring is a two way street  Morality and respect for one another  This all makes a friendship complete. But how far do you take a friendship?  What is the limit on what you confide?  And how does one deal with betrayal? TeAnne © Dec. 13. 1998  It's all in Your Hands Run your hands across my brow and remove the sweat from the days toil Run your finger beneath my eyes and remove the tears of sadness that wells Run your hand across my breast and remove the broken beats of my heart Run your finger around my thickened waist and remove the swelling of middle age Run your hands up my thighs and tell me I am still a woman. TeAnne © 23 Feb. 2000 LIES  It's time I woke up  and got on with my life  never, I know  will I be your wife.Mixed emotions when  I talk with you  never will  my dreams come true. It's all just a forgotten  love  and you told me  it was ours, from above. Those dreams we had  we just surmised  that they would come true  They didn't  Surprise, surprise.  © June 16. 1998 Never Trust A Fellow Artist My visual diary of memories   Of all the pains, I've been through   The time it took and the research   Jottings all lost to me, STOLEN! Some thoughtless person has it   I suppose they think they can   Adopt my life or my style   Really so senseless, it's no use to them.  A kinship I believed within the artist's world   Why then would they take away my notions?   My reflections, the works of my Mum   What did I do to deserve this violation?  Two years of work irreplaceable   Precious thoughts, I can't think again   Why would they want to take it?   My thoughts in it don't relate to them.  The first two years of studio life   All the learning, to get me where I am   In another's hand now, all my secrets   They now know, of what I feel inside.  Please, just give it back. I need it   Return it and I won't say a word   Place it from where you took it. I promise   I have no need to know, who YOU are!   © April 22. 1999    THE OLD MAN At the bus stop I saw an old man he fell on his back. Nobody moved just looked then turned away. My knee clicked as I tried to dash cementing me in place. Laying at his side his cane and his week of snacks. I wanted to cry, He must have been eighty. TeAnne © 15. March. 1999 Over Him Now that it’s over  and the realisation has struck  Expected to be over him am I,  and live my life anew. Then why is my heart so heavy  and life as it is so tough?  So hard to let him go  from this anxious heart so bruised. Nights and days still filled with him  like yesterday it was, when on the radio  a song was played yet again to make me sob. Tingling in my being  the memory of his touch  Oh why Oh why dear God  did you let me love him so much.  TeAnne © Feb 1.1998

PASSION

---

Passion flavoured with doubt connected once were we and little innocence bundled in a corner of amour Cobweb splayed and dust covered thoughts gone memories of innocence who once was me Do not near fearful of your trust that I am torment laden the past not forgot of any man But passion reigns high and bubbles boil hot Passion flavoured with doubt and you're here innocent now I am not. T eAnne © Jan 20.1998 PASSIONATE PAIN.

We don’t know each other,
Yet we familiarize so well.
I’ve allowed myself  to trust
and let you lead me to Elysian fields.

You frugally arouse untouchable desires,
with tongue dancing boundaries seek.
While taste buds in forbidden zones
will only speculate and albeit quench.

Forgotten desires belch forth
and reverie howls, it’s encore!
Ensuing my release, left bruised
and bleeding on the shelf.

TeAnne © April 15. 1998

Same Old Song

I step back into my past  And look at what I might change  I see many of errors  I would like to re arrange The men that were big mistakes  I wish I had never met  The head games that were played  I'm still trying to forget  I step back into now time  And see things still going wrong  Do we ever learn or heed  The wisdom from a new song.   © April 21 1999   SHAME!  We know it’s wrong, yet it seems so right We’re walking on the dark side in all of  shames delight. Living breathing, every word we write day after day, after night. Branded on the heart and emotional revel. We cannot deny lustful cravings, when life has cast it’s spell. We will out last this supremacy or be stoned, forever outcast, if we ever endure this urgency, before this, our secret, slowly tears our worlds apart. TeAnne © April 15.1998

SOLITARY. 

---

Oh yes, he had charm with voice of authority and noted wit, a manipulator, energized by life and circumstance. Romancing innocence in midnight dreams, catapulting global intoxicated yearnings. Turning into the devils angel, my two faced lover, long since buried in a black bottomless pit. Solitary moments, with my arm naked I plan my future alone. TeAnne © June 8. 1998

Tormented
 

Shimmering whispers riding on the wind

and a laboured breathe for I have sinned

Light a candle in the darkened room

to show me the way from this gloom and doom
 
 

Stolen kisses from a lover’s mouth

Show me now, which way is out?

Children’s  laughter and a baby’s cry

Please, no God I don’t want to die.
 
 

Golden leaves on the ground do scatter

Autumn winds carry them to where, Does it matter?

Life on earth is oh so short

in Heaven on high soon, no choice, one’s to report.
 
 

Ghosts of a long time past have come to haunt

floating hither and tither in my minds eye,

flashings of life only to flaunt.
 
 

Swallowed up, gone by the yesterday!

Goodbye, my loves, family and friends

so many words left dormant and unsaid

May this world show you love and peace

For now I go, my life has outrun it’s lease.
 
 

TeAnne © 18/1/94

TWO STARS

Casting eyes above
two stars I see
twinkling
bright with love
One is my Mum
One is my Dad
Like spirits guiding
showing which path
I should pursue.
Lighting the way
I feel their presence
with each stumble
or step I choose.
For wherever I go
In this world
These two stars follow.

TeAnne © Jan 5.1998

VANQUISHED

(WINNER FEB.1998 POETRY CONTEST)

---

I thought I knew you then I know I don't We revelled in our kiss of passion beyond no matter what then came the dawn the waking hour yourself you looked away Moods changed quickly after lustful hours were spent Shone brightly in the heaven's eye once the spirit of our love the clouds of doubt ascended and wiped away the smiles Paradise once ours showered with happiness and bliss Shattered contentment vanquished stolen momentarily by another’s lustful kiss.

TeAnne © Jan 20.1998 WINNER OF FEBRUARY POETRY CONTEST Thank you APRIL.